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Why You Avoid What's Good For You (And How to Stop)

With Byron McCaughey · 17 May 2026

In this episode of In Session with Byron, psychologist Byron McCaughey breaks down avoidance - why we don't do the things we know are right for us, and how a small shift in how we relate to our thoughts can make a huge impact. Speaking up at work. Posting your opinion on LinkedIn. Starting the business. Making the pivot. Your mind sees the potential bad outcomes - the argument, the criticism, the failure - and steps in with protective behaviours to keep you safe. The problem? Constantly avoiding what matters comes at a cost to your energy, motivation and wellbeing. Learn why avoidance is your mind's protection mechanism at work - not a personal flaw - the hidden cost of continually avoiding the things that would make your life better, and a simple way to thank your mind and take action anyway. Because the bad outcome your mind is protecting you from is rarely as bad as the cost of a life spent avoiding it.

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Transcript

Hi everyone, Byron here, psychologist for entrepreneurs. Today's In Session with Byron is on the topic of avoidance - and I like this topic because it comes up a lot, and small changes can make a huge impact.

So, what causes us to not do the things that we know are right for us? Or in other words, what causes us to not fill the cups in our lives that we know we want to fill?

The answer to that is the protection that our mind brings in to try and avoid some sort of potential bad outcome. If I tell the person at work what I really think about something, what happens if we get into an argument? If I put out that LinkedIn post with my opinion on something, what happens if people don't like it? If I decide that I am going to start that business, or I am going to make a pivot in what I'm doing, what happens if it goes wrong and I fail?

These are all bad outcomes according to the mind, and they have emotional costs. And your mind is just doing what it thinks it should do, which is to protect you with protective behaviours - in this case, avoiding those decisions or not taking them at all.

The problem is that if we continue to live our life in a way where we are constantly avoiding the things that are actually right for us, well, there's a cost to that. There's a cost to our energy, our motivation, our wellbeing, and many other things.

So once we are aware that it's just our mind trying to protect us, we can have a relationship with our thoughts that says, "Hey, thanks - but I am actually going to go and do that thing that's important to me, in spite of the potential bad outcome." Why? Because the bad outcome is not anywhere near as bad as the cost of constantly avoiding the things that are going to make my life better.

So that's a few words on avoidance.

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