← In Session with Byron

In Session · Watch

Holding Both: How to Feel Anxious and Still Enjoy Life

With Byron McCaughey · 17 July 2025

Many entrepreneurs believe they need to eliminate anxiety before they can enjoy life's meaningful moments. In this short video, psychologist Byron McCaughey explores the powerful concept of holding both - learning to accept anxiety while still showing up for the things that matter, like family, connection, and joy. Discover how shifting your mindset can help you live a values-aligned life, even when uncomfortable emotions are present.

Read along

Transcript

Today I want to talk about this idea of holding both. So what do I mean by that?

Well, a client came in the other day, a business owner, and they said that unless they got rid of their anxiety, they didn't feel like they were able to derive any benefit from spending time with family. We talked about approaching it a different way, which is that in accepting and recognising and acknowledging that we're feeling anxious in a given moment, we can then show up fully to the moment with family - by being present, by being there, by engaging fully in that experience.

Through experimentation, this person realised that actually they could still get the benefit of being with family, which for them was things like connection, love, laughter.

So this is the idea of holding both. And it's a really powerful one when we think about our relationship with unpleasant experiences like anxiety and mood - that in spite of those things, we can still get benefit from living a life that's aligned with our values and doing the things that are important to us, and getting all of the good things that come with that.

We don't need to get rid of those unpleasant experiences to get those benefits. And that can be a really powerful thing to be thinking about when we're considering our own lives and the actions that we take.

More episodes

In SessionWatch

The Psychology of Not Putting All Your Identity Eggs in One Basket

In this episode of In Session with Byron, psychologist Byron McCaughey tackles founder identity - and he's not here to tell you your role shouldn't be tied to who you are. He's been there himself: watching a business fold and feeling it as a hit on his sense of self. The issue isn't having your identity tied to being a founder. It's when that becomes the only thing you measure your self-worth against. Byron unpacks self-complexity theory - the idea that having multiple life domains (founder, psychologist, dad, husband, friend) means a hit to one domain doesn't take down your whole sense of self. When we're aware of those domains, we make decisions with more clarity and less fear. Learn why tying your identity to being a founder isn't the problem, what self-complexity theory says about withstanding setbacks in one area of life, and a simple exercise: write down everything you are besides a founder. Get clear on your domains, and you free yourself to make the right decisions for your business - not just the fear-avoidant ones.

Watch & read more
In SessionWatch

The One Freedom You Always Have: A Lesson from Viktor Frankl

In this episode of In Session with Byron, psychologist Byron McCaughey draws on a powerful idea from Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning - that even when everything else is stripped away, we retain one freedom: the choice of how we respond to our circumstances. Frankl wrote this as a Jewish prisoner in a WWII concentration camp, and it's a principle Byron returns to often in session with founders. As entrepreneurs, we face our own adversities constantly - many of them entirely outside our control. But how we respond, the mindset we bring, and the actions we choose in the face of that adversity remain ours to decide. Learn why Frankl's idea of the "last human freedom" applies directly to founder life, how to separate what's outside your control from what's always within it, and a grounding reminder for the moments you're stuck worrying about things you can't change. No matter what you're facing, you always have the choice of how you respond.

Watch & read more
In SessionWatch

Rumination vs Reflection: How to Escape Thought Loops

In this episode of In Session with Byron, psychologist Byron McCaughey tackles rumination - that post-board-meeting, post-pitch spiral where you can't stop replaying what you said and analysing what they said. Rumination is not the same as reflection. Reflection means considering what happened, extracting the useful information, and moving on. Rumination is a loop - and the research is clear that it correlates with anxiety and depressive outcomes. On a practical level, it also means you're never fully present for the next thing: the work in front of you, time with your partner, moments with family. Learn the critical difference between reflection and rumination, a simple diagnostic question - have I learnt anything new from thinking about this in the last 24 hours? - and how grounding in your senses pulls you out of the loop, because the brain can't attend to the present and replay the past at the same time. If the answer to that question is no, you're ruminating. Come back to the present.

Watch & read more